To Forgive.. Is it so hard??

As humans we yearn for a heart which can connect to us and understand drop to drop, to the ounce, what we feel and go through. I feel its a much ignored and unacknowledged inherent need lying deep inside us.  Also, strange is the behavior of ‘closing up’ we exhibit when we are hurt by those individuals we let into our closer circle and expected them to fulfill our special need. Aren’t we, by closing up, or blocking out the same individual we trust and love so much, acting in a way similar to what hurt us in the first place? Isn’t it, in a way, a kind of ‘giving it back’ action? Though most of us never realize when actually doing it.. We are consumed by the feeling of hurt and become immune or ignorant to the hurt we are causing to the other individual. Are we not ending up actually doing a tit-for-tat. Are we not forgetting the basic rule of relationships? The sacred principle of holding the other person’s hand when we see them stumble.. Can we not do it impulsively and instinctively?
Ya, we do it. When the hurt is small, or depending on our moods, or the initial few repetitions of the same kind of mistake.
None of us holy souls would like to intentionally hurt someone else. That is why that individual got shortlisted to enter our closer circle in the first place. No one would make friends or become close with an obvious sadist right? So are we losing faith on the criterion which was satisfied at the time of recruitment? And that too, despite knowing clearly that, it hurts a lot when such basic foundational feelings are doubted or questioned.
Forgiveness: the act of letting go of things from our heart when we know something was unintentional. But depending on our mood, we do get angry for small unintentional wrongdoings by people around us. But the respite from such a reaction is quick and easy. If letting go of things is so easy when the ‘unintentional’ tag gets attached from our heart, yes, it seems like a self monitored certification process, which is followed by the judiciary. And the individual, if he/she can convince the court that the act was unintentional then he gets away with a slight rap on the knuckle.
Is that the way to treat our closest souls? Putting them through a painful trial? When we clearly know how difficult it can be. Its because we are scared to trust individuals, yes.. even those we handpicked as suitable. And that difficulty is because of the bitter experiences we went through, and more often because of the exposure to such incidents. How many of us actually got deceived by a pretending sadist who got close to us and then took advantage of all our forgiving behaviour and hurt us a lot and so we are like this now..?? I mean to say, do we really have picked up so much baggage that we have to stoop? I don’t think so. More often its just the way we would have let our mind get conditioned. Yes, conditioned in a way to overpower the heart, which works just fine by itself. We get overprotective about our heart, despite knowing that the injury to the heart can be healed in the same way – pure love, care and affection from our close dear ones.
Well getting back, Considering that the individual has to go through the judiciary after committing a mistake, fine. But why do we end up making it so hard for the poor soul to prove that the act was unintentional and he/she never meant to hurt us. Don’t we all know that criminals are innocent until proven guilty? Do we consider the wrongdoing makes our closest souls worse than criminals?
All of us know that the definition of right/wrong is higly subjective. And when we know that whats perfectly fine for someone else is not so for us. So when the individual whatever his/her subjective definitions are, is willing to let go of them, and accepts our definition, looking at it from our glasses,, accepts his/her wrongdoing and vows never to repeat such a thing… Isn’t it enough?
Coming to the acts which are due to ignorance or innocence. We all end up doing a lot of things completely preoccupied with something else running on our minds. And we also know, that severly restricts the clear processing power of the brain. Yes, we actually treat such day to day innocent preoccupied actions(mistakes) as harshly as the law treats those acts like drunken driving.