My thoughts on neo comedy..

Starting recently, a new form of comedy has been carving a niche of its own. No famous books have been written on it, but its very successful nevertheless. PJs… Poor Jokes. Only thing poor about them is the name. No other form of literature has managed to evoke such an aggregation of emotions. I wont list all of them…. You’ll get a taste of them soon enough. You can say I’m a connoisseur of PJs. I feel PJs are master strokes of genius. How else can you explain the pile of feelings assosciated with it. That huge pile which come only with months of hard work and loads of money, that pile assosciated with movies like Devdas, Saavariya… You wont know whether you should appreciate the hand-work of the creator or curse him

As starter… check this out.. Once Mickey mouse and Donald duck had a fight. They fought hard and strong,.. in a fit of rage.. donald picked up mickey and banged him against the wall… And then… Mickey started writing Ramayana on the wall… Why?? Brace for it….. because mickey became wall-mickey… Valmiki…

Here’s a mathematical PJ… what is the vector form of sridevi??? Ans: Tabu… Puzzled? Its understandable… its a level 3 PJ which requires experience to understand…. Sridevi acted in the movie Chandni. Tabu acted in Chandni Bar… Got it??

How can Sadhus resist all temptations? Because they keep saying om om om… More the Ohms more resistance..

What do you call Mr.Bean when he’s sleeping? Soya bean…..

What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito? Ans: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannot mosquito… Again… What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito? Ans: A mosquito can fly but a fly cannot mosquito…

Whats the cube of 13??? Guess??? Its suroor…. because… tera tera tera.. suroor…

Why are South Indians dark?? because they keep watching Sun TV, Surya TV…without sunscreen.

All the scientists in heaven.. once decided to play hide and seek. Einstein was the seeker. He started counting… After reaching zero, he went to look for others.. He found Newton standing on a square carpet near the fountain. He caught him and started screaming ‘I have found Newton, he’s out..’ Guess what Newton says… “Fool, Cant you see that I’m standing on a square, I’m Pascal” ( Newton per meter Square is Pascal- unit of pressure)

What do you call a girl with no friends??? Koena mitra…

More to follow….

Waiting for your comments..

Dedicated to all the Authors.. The incognito geniuses..

Monkey Business!!

Monkeys are our distant cousins. We all reassert this relationship during some part of our life, through our actions. Moreover, monkeys are revered in Hindu mythology. But despite all this, anyone will be angry if someone tries to remind him about his lineage. In light of the recent controversy down under, Bhajji is gonna save himself citing miscommunication. Seems what he said actually is ‘teri maa ki…’, and since this is not there in the Punter’s list of offensive words,.. he’ll be let off. Yes, both the captains exchanged lists of offensive terms in each others languages. Those who think monkeys are mentally spastic version of us.. take a look at this pic. At Elephanta, Mumbai, It snatched the bottle from me and….

I recently came across a wonderful analysis of Indians’ clean sweep in T20. We all have been seeing India winning matches from ages by sheer individual brilliance, rarely by team performance. In T20, the 20 overs are over in a flash, hence, a short period of brilliant contribution can take the match away from the opposition. The match’ll be over, before the other side can realise what hit them, let alone retaliate. A short spell of accurate bowling with a few wickets(Pathan), a flurry of runs for a few overs(Yuvraj, Uttappa) was enough to ensure a victory. Now the next question is why cant this happen in the longer versions. The answer is the same… Individual performance like those mentioned above also happen in one dayers, only problem is the opposition will have time to recoup. You can notice this in plenty of matches where we have let go matches which were in our pouch.

Naturally, the Aussies, complete team they are, were not very gratified with our performance. I am not applauding their behaviour, but its just that they have that attitude, that air of superiority, around them. And that air was sucked out in T20. Now.. they have taken the test series.. not by their ability, but bad umpiring. And in the process our beloved cousins’ name got entangled in the controversy.

Since I started off this log with monkeys.. I’ll stop here. Enough of deviation from our topic…More of Cricket some other time..

Backpacking!!!

Backpacking in Chikkamagalur!!

We thought we’d try a trip without any plans, Srinath and me. We didn’t even plan about the number of days, didn’t even reserve our seats. We left everything to be decided then and there, for the thrill of real backpacking.

DAY 1: Chikkamagalur, Kudremukha, Kalasa, Horanadu

WE ARE OFF!!

We got a fair amount of thrill even before we started off, the 27tthnight, Bhutto was assassinated and we almost had to cancel the trip. We somehow managed to convince our parents and boarded the 23:30 bus to Chikkamagalur. The road is pretty good and we reached our destination by 05:30 early morning. We booked ourselves into a hotel near the bus stand and after enquiring decided to visit Kudremukha (90km) first. We boarded a bus to Kottigehara, and from there to Kudremukha. There are many buses on the route so no worries. The journey is very refreshing, awesome scenery wherever you look, rolling hills, small streams and falls every other turn. Kudremukha is a beautiful placed surrounded by hills all around. At Kudremukha we hired a rickshaw fellow to show us around for 400Rs. We had to take permission of the forest dept as the area falls under the national park. First we visited the Lakya dam. It’s a very interesting place, the dam is filled with the slag from mining. Its kind of weird to see a dam full, but not with water. After that we went to Gangamoola, the birthplace of rivers Tunga and Bhadra. It’s a nice to go for a stroll here, amidst the Western Ghats. All through the day the view all around was spectacular. We almost got tired of clicking pictures. Our next stop was the nature camp. It’s a beautiful camping site next to the newly born Bhadra river. The river is a crystal clear stream with a depth of about 2 feet. You can book for a package at the nature camp, which includes trekking too. After spending some time playing in the cool water, we went to Hanuman Gundi falls. You’ve to climb down from the road to find the falls. You have to be wary of the slippery boulders here, and its great to sit below the falls, refreshing cool water thumping on your body. After a lazy time at the falls we returned to Kudremukha to the big park with an aquarium, there’s nothing special about this park, you can just enjoy the greenery with lots of shade.

The guide was well worth the money as we managed to cover all the places (all are within 40km) in and around Kudremukha within 5hrs with a leisurely pace. We had a rather late lunch of dosas near the bus stop, and boarded a bus back. We got down at Kalasa (20km from Kudremukha on the road to Chikkamagalur), situated on the banks of the river Bhadra, is surrounded by lofty hills of the Western Ghats and is looked upon as one of the pancha-kshetras on the banks of the Bhadra. Close by are the pancha theerthas, the five sacred ponds. There’s a famous Shiva temple at Kalasa. After the darshana we took a bus to Horanadu. This is famous for the Goddess Annapurna temple. We had the dinner at the temple itself. Yes, all the temples in South Canara provide food as prasada, very tasty that too, especially at Horanadu. Horanadu is a beautiful place in the middle of Western Ghats. We took the 21:30 bus from Horanadu to Chikkamagalur, through Kottigehara.

DAY 2: Bababudan Giri, Sringeri

We checked out of the hotel and after a delicious breakfast and took a bus to Bababudan giri (35 kms). It’s a wonderful hill station with a cave shrine, sacred to both Hindus and Muslims. It’s surrounded by thick green forests, has salubrious climate and panoramic view of wild mountains, birds singing and the blissful cool breeze. The journey is also very nice with awesome scenery, all the way. From the bus stop, we took a Jeep ride to the Manikyadhara falls (6 kms). Those looking for some excitement can try the jeep top, we did… WOW!! What a ride it was!! The water falls from a rock on top of the hill, amazing! You can go for a short trek here and enjoy the scenery to your hearts content. After a picnic with the lunch we’d packed from Chikkamagalur we returned and boarded a bus to Sringeri. Sringeri is a picturesque town in the heart of the Malnad with rich vegetation and pleasant climate. This temple town attracts pilgrims from all over India and abroad as well. It is located at the foot of the Sahyadris (Western Ghats). Sringeri is famous for the Sharada temple established by Shankaracharya, on the Tunga riverbank. It’s a beautiful place surrounded by hills. The food at the temple is delicious.

DAY 3: Agumbe, Manipal, Udupi, Malpe, St Mary’s Island

We got up early and after a peaceful visit to the temple, boarded the 7:00 bus to Agumbe (20km). After two plates of tasty idli vada, at Agumbe we went to Manipal (40km). Manipal is a small town famous for educational and financial institutions. After a visit to the planetarium and an anatomy museum we left for Udupi (5 km). After the darshana at the Krishna temple we left for Malpe beach (6 km). Its beautiful with endless stretch of golden sand, graciously swaying palm trees, the clear blue sky, gurgle of the sea… all set the perfect mood for the unforgettable holiday here. We took a boat to St Mary’s island (7 km). You can also take the ferry and cut costs. It’s a small picturesque island with unique volcanic rock formations. It’s ideal for lying on the sand and waiting for the sunset. It’s not advisable to get into the water, as the waves are very strong and dangerous. After lazing around in the Malpe beach, with lots of chats, we returned to Udupi and boarded a sleeper bus to Bangalore, with a silent vow to return.

It cost us Rs 1900 each, you can do with a bit lesser than that too.

This trip was a great success, thanks mainly to the wholehearted help of local people. My impression that the Kannada people are very helpful was reaffirmed. I do not think it’s possible to manage just as well in any other state, without knowing the local knowledge.

I hope this article is helpful in planning for your trip to Chikkamagalur. Happy Journey!!

India and Names..

India has always been assosciated with interesting(also multiple) names. Starting with the name of the country itself, I dont think any other country has so many names.. Hindustan, India, Bharat…. Indians seem to have an obsession with names, starting from ages ago itself. Why else will the hindu gods have so many names, just try and imagine yourself in that position… you will go crazy with just 5 names.. poor gods. Each one of them have hundreds,some even thousands…, just think about it.. in light of the recent announcement in Delhi about ID proof for every1.. Name is to identify some one or something. What is the need for multiple names for a single god? As it is there are thousands of them.. with enough of temples.. and there’s the belief that you get loads of ‘punya’ by reciting all those names.. Of course the god’ll pay.. he needs some1 to remind him of all his names..

You can get the taste of this naming frenzy by just looking around in any busy street. Every shop, from the hotel to the small paan shop, from the stationary shop to the cobbler kiosk..have names. I have always wondered about it, as no one else other than the owner himself will notice the shop name.. Anyways these names’ll be almost hidden in the huge hoardings of the brands in the shop. Also am puzzled on the logic with which they name… just think.. Sri Raghavendra mutton stall, Gandhi wine shop… The next one.. is absolutely heights… naming their vehicles. People proudly stick the names of their kids, loved ones, gods.. that too in photo reflective materials. Auto rickshaws go a step further and write ‘I love you ____’ on their rear ends… Some even post a ‘thanks to’… I really cant imagine who would be interested in knowing about someone’s kids, whom he loves..or whatever when they are standing at a traffic signal.

On a positive note.. Indians also come up with the most innovative and wonderful names. Think of Infosys.. it definitely rates as one of the best names. Who else can come up with all those millions of names for the gods which even today serves as a database, when naming babies.

As a parting note.. Just think of all the nicknames for an NRI with the name… “Jalakridasamasakta gopivastrapaharakaswami”…

Bench is Heaven!!

 Yes! Bench. Some people dread it, some love it. I am not sure what I feel. From my personal experience, I think its good for a short period.. you can have fun.. browsing, chatting, roaming whatever you want. But it gets a bit boring as time goes.. God knows why these companies hire so many people if they dont need them. But I’m not complaining, its everyone’s dream to get paid for doing nothing or doing what you want rather.

All my friends who joined recently in various software companies were put on bench, the shortest time is mine.. for 2 weeks. I came to know that one entire accenture facility is on bench.. can you believe it?

Coming to heaven, Its a place thats supposed to be ideal.. as in.. you get to do what you want. Same on bench. So it matches perfectly. Thought the presence of angels(urvashis and menakas) depends on your company. No one asks you anything. Its true some companies keep swipe in and swipe out times. They are intelligent too. Their offices will be located in such ‘far from fun’ areas that even if you want to roam around until your swipe out time, you can find nothing(like theatres, parks, coffee day..) within a radius of 5 kms.

Lets look at the term ‘bench’. Ever thought why or how it got coined? All these companies provide soft push back chairs for their employees.. so where s the question of bench?

Benches are supposed to be hard wooden furnitures which though uncomfortable after sometime, can seat many people. I think its this definition is what made the term get the meaning we are discussing. There are many people, its gets uncomfortable after sometime..(you get frustratingly bored).. so it matches perfectly.

Bench also makes you try things which you wouldn’t even dream doing.Look at me.. I started blogging from today.. I hate writing.. essays, articles.. I always thought I cant put my thoughts into words.. Now.. This is my second blog. and I am loving it..  It’s not so tough after all..So in conclusion, whatever happens.. take it positively..  Consider bench as its classical meaning goes.. its a place to sit and relax.. in parks, etc. So.. do just that.. chill out..

Well.. I got bored. Since there’s no swipe out time for me… I’ll leave now..

Once again.. cheers to bench..