To Forgive.. Is it so hard??

As humans we yearn for a heart which can connect to us and understand drop to drop, to the ounce, what we feel and go through. I feel its a much ignored and unacknowledged inherent need lying deep inside us.  Also, strange is the behavior of ‘closing up’ we exhibit when we are hurt by those individuals we let into our closer circle and expected them to fulfill our special need. Aren’t we, by closing up, or blocking out the same individual we trust and love so much, acting in a way similar to what hurt us in the first place? Isn’t it, in a way, a kind of ‘giving it back’ action? Though most of us never realize when actually doing it.. We are consumed by the feeling of hurt and become immune or ignorant to the hurt we are causing to the other individual. Are we not ending up actually doing a tit-for-tat. Are we not forgetting the basic rule of relationships? The sacred principle of holding the other person’s hand when we see them stumble.. Can we not do it impulsively and instinctively?
Ya, we do it. When the hurt is small, or depending on our moods, or the initial few repetitions of the same kind of mistake.
None of us holy souls would like to intentionally hurt someone else. That is why that individual got shortlisted to enter our closer circle in the first place. No one would make friends or become close with an obvious sadist right? So are we losing faith on the criterion which was satisfied at the time of recruitment? And that too, despite knowing clearly that, it hurts a lot when such basic foundational feelings are doubted or questioned.
Forgiveness: the act of letting go of things from our heart when we know something was unintentional. But depending on our mood, we do get angry for small unintentional wrongdoings by people around us. But the respite from such a reaction is quick and easy. If letting go of things is so easy when the ‘unintentional’ tag gets attached from our heart, yes, it seems like a self monitored certification process, which is followed by the judiciary. And the individual, if he/she can convince the court that the act was unintentional then he gets away with a slight rap on the knuckle.
Is that the way to treat our closest souls? Putting them through a painful trial? When we clearly know how difficult it can be. Its because we are scared to trust individuals, yes.. even those we handpicked as suitable. And that difficulty is because of the bitter experiences we went through, and more often because of the exposure to such incidents. How many of us actually got deceived by a pretending sadist who got close to us and then took advantage of all our forgiving behaviour and hurt us a lot and so we are like this now..?? I mean to say, do we really have picked up so much baggage that we have to stoop? I don’t think so. More often its just the way we would have let our mind get conditioned. Yes, conditioned in a way to overpower the heart, which works just fine by itself. We get overprotective about our heart, despite knowing that the injury to the heart can be healed in the same way – pure love, care and affection from our close dear ones.
Well getting back, Considering that the individual has to go through the judiciary after committing a mistake, fine. But why do we end up making it so hard for the poor soul to prove that the act was unintentional and he/she never meant to hurt us. Don’t we all know that criminals are innocent until proven guilty? Do we consider the wrongdoing makes our closest souls worse than criminals?
All of us know that the definition of right/wrong is higly subjective. And when we know that whats perfectly fine for someone else is not so for us. So when the individual whatever his/her subjective definitions are, is willing to let go of them, and accepts our definition, looking at it from our glasses,, accepts his/her wrongdoing and vows never to repeat such a thing… Isn’t it enough?
Coming to the acts which are due to ignorance or innocence. We all end up doing a lot of things completely preoccupied with something else running on our minds. And we also know, that severly restricts the clear processing power of the brain. Yes, we actually treat such day to day innocent preoccupied actions(mistakes) as harshly as the law treats those acts like drunken driving.

Just A Min!!

How long a minute is.. depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on

What a brilliant definition! Isn’t it?.. One of the best n wittiest I have come across.

It perfectly describes the extent of disparity in subjective perception of the effective duration.. On one hand, It seems like an instant and on the other.. it seems like an eternity. The critical situation..

Just to reflect on the ‘seeming’ self oriented mentality of us- the current generation..
Most of us would have experienced both the ‘seeming’ durations personally. But we find it very hard to imagine the other ‘seeming’ when actually travelling in One…
Of course I agree that at such moments there are things and thoughts of far higher priority completely enveloping all the cores of our brain.. Making us completely incapable of processing anything else.

Ok… we are thinking abt 2 individual subjective thoughts.. like 2 locomotives pulling the same train of thought in opposite directions . Lets consider 1 more..

God.. How do you think he must feel. 2 of his own creations praying for 2 completely different outcomes, with the same sincerity and devotion. Well.. we all know he always comes up with a solution which is ultimately for our good. But on the short term perspective, the good outcome for one.. may not be so good for whole lot others

I always used to ponder.. On the day of the exam, there must be millions of students initiating prayers for the similar outcomes all at the same time. That must be the worst congestion ever.. All lines on the route will invariably be busy. But that is not enough to make us stop and wait..

Getting back to the topic, I recently had to use the office bus instead of the cab which I had all this time. It made me realize the value of a minute from a whole new angle and importance. 1 extra minute in bed, when you are about the wake up is all we wish for.. desperately. But once we get it, its over in an instant. And that extra minute has far reaching consequences when I have to sprint hard to catch the bus. Unlike the cab which used to wait up, the bus just goes off.

And having got the privilege of being the first pick up on most of my cabs, I could afford a deviation of upto 2 mins from the starting time. But the same 2 mins seem real long, when waiting for someone else even after spending a seemingly long time cursing the irresponsible person who doesn’t value time..

Those last minutes of a boring class which just stretch forever..  And those days of fun which just fly by as minutes…

If we just try and see the other side… We’ll get a smile..

Sau.. dard hai.. :)

100…

Police.. Sachin.. Onion.. What else…

Well, the 0n10n does have an 100 in it… only the digits are mixed up

An agrarian nation and onions costing more than petrol. Times sure are changing, right ?

Since i started my reference with Police, just a point which i came to know recently. I have never tried dialling 100 actually. But seems it doesn’t work.. Any guesses? No, its not ‘out of coverage’ message… we need to dial the STD code prefixed it seems.. From unconfirmed sources.. ie..

Well i had to bring Sachin in too, because he too has been responsible for the 100 losing its value. Come on folks.. the guy has hit so many centuries that soon no one’s gonna raise their bat after crossing the ton. Nah.. its not such a big deal.. do you know how many the little fella has got! Yup, the count’s close to a 100 too

I want to convey my vote of appreciation for the numeral which held a unique place in everyone’s hearts for a long time. Be it marks.. or kmph.. or engine displacement.. etc etc.. the numeral held its importance in our country for a long time. Now everywhere its taken over.. dethroned.. kicked away.. you can button start it away too

100 the round number.. the cent.. the standard unit of most measures.. In fact its so round and symmetrical that one more than this number is the most preferred donation amount to the almighty Ya I guess people get some kind of satisfaction in knowing that they are giving away one more than the special number

The sales guys used this psychological barrier feeling to their advantage too. When they realized the impact the soul feels while crossing this round number, they tried hard to remain close to it but just below.. so hard in fact they went on adding 9s.. Ya.. 99.95 etc etc..

Well.. is there hope for the future? will the 100  get back its clout?

Hmm.. Definitely.. I say..

The following heroes can help the 100 regain its lost glory..

The rupee against the dollar… the petrol price per ltr… the yr 2047.. Ya.. the last one definitely has to be the biggest.

Also hope India gets more than 100 medals in the 2048 Olympics.. the 100th year of Independence…

Jai Hind.

Ek choti si Love story…

It was one of those ordinary evenings.. I was in the office bus, waiting for it to push off thinking about the traffic and generally bored.

I dont know why she caught my eye, but soon as she boarded, I started hoping that she would come and sit next to me. As usual, it was one of those out of bounds wishes, She found a seat somewhere up front.

After that day, I caught sight of her a couple other times and was found myself pleased with that . She somehow seemed different, somewhat special, kind of a person who would stand out in a crowd.. Looking Confident, with impeccable dressing sense and all that…

As I board the bus at one of the early stops, I get to chose my seat. And I usually sit in third row,  aisle seat of the long 3 seater on the right.  It was a normal Monday morning, me running to the stop and catching the bus at the signal… I got in short of breath, and completely lost it seeing her next to the window of my 3 seater. I sat down, very pleased but without a clue of what I am gonna do now that she’s next to me.

“Are you at Dell?…” I turned, scarcely able to believe my ears… “No, am at ….. ” I managed. Started chatting a bit… She said she had done her MS in US, and returned recently. After the introduction and profile exchange, having had a tough night, I dozed off…

The next morning, she was there. In the same place… Again… Bit more chatting, me dozing off… Was the same thing for a couple of days. On the Friday morning, I was losing my head. After getting down, I just wanted to be with her the whole day. All day at work I was distracted, kicking myself for not asking her number, and thinking about what all to talk in the evening… with the remotest chance of her being on the same bus as me, and even remotest chance of getting to sit together. Hope is strange.. it makes you look forward to things, build skyscrapers floating on paper basements. One logical thought is all it takes to crumple the basements. Alright, enough of psychology preaching.

There I was, in the two seater, hoping she would take the same bus. With all the expectation built up through the day, waiting in anticipation, as the moment came close. Then he came… One of my colleagues, with a perfect mood to chat. Ever heard of water being splashed on plans… This was worse… He was completely oblivious to the fact that I was not on earth. Started blabbing abt his work, his manager.. and what not… God who cares. Anyways, you got the message. I started hoping that she would be busy today and miss the bus… Atleast its better than having to sit next to this guy and look at her sitting across the aisle… Swalpa, uriyodu kadime aagutte anta.  But, as usual,  the basement collapsed and there she was, walked in looked at me, chose a seat couple of rows front of me. My friend here was going non stop, completely ignorant of the skyscraper demotion that just happened… I couldnt stand it anymore, told him that I was expecting someone to join me, to please shift. The journey was over in brooding about all the things I had working against me… As my stop came close, I decided, to get down wherever she does. I started feeling hopeful once again, and patted myself on the back for my quick mind . One stop went, No sign from her… Two went, nothing… by the fourth stop I was feeling foolish, so decided to get down anyways. I got up as the bus slowed and started walking towards the front door. I turned only to find my ‘dear’ friend right behind, surprised that I didnt get down at my stop… and to my complete surpise, saw her standing behind him… Meanwhile the bus stopped and I got down awkwardly and could only look at her walking away, me left to explain to this guy that I had to buy something near that stop.

Couple of days later, I boarded my evening bus with a lot less expectation(things had settled down and I was back to terra firma)… Walking in, saw her in exactly the same 2 seater where I had previously witnessed the skyscraper demolition happening. Said Hi, with  a big smile, got one in return too, she shifted her bag from the seat to her lap, and I sat down on Cloud 9 thanking the fate and everyone She was having some Hide n seek biscuits.. and offered me. I blurted no thanks for the first time to Hide n seek, and we started chatting. After a few minutes, she had stopped eating but still had the pack in her hand. I couldnt control anymore, and said that I would have a couple if the offer was still open.

She offered the pack, and said… ‘I knew you would ask…..’….

Ufff… As you guessed, I was already on Cloud #99 by now. We chatted about this and that, at one point I said I was looking forward to gorging on chats after getting down…  She said she was feeling like eating maggi, and would cook it at home. We discussed about all the best chaat places in the neighbourhood… and this and that.. the journey was over in a jiffy…

The next evening, I walked into the bus… saw her in exactly the same seat, same routine… I sat down direct on Cloud #101 this time.

Started talking… this and that… me already thinking on how to take it further,… I was sure this was it.. by the way I was zooming up to the clouds and changing seats there each time I bumped into her…

I asked…

‘Hey how was the maggi yesterday evening…? Relished it?…’

‘Oh.. I didn’t have maggi yesterday….’ she explained… ‘my mother-in-law had prepared pulao…’

….

India Shining!!-2nd Innings???

Anyone taking a glance at one of the major national newspapers will be amused to find the government competing with other companies for advertising. This is just the people in power blowing horns about their so called ‘achievements’ during their term. This trend was last seen with the NDA government’s India Shining campaign during the election year.. which though made us feel proud about ourselves, turned tables for the party in the battle. The party allegedly spent close to 84 crores for the campaign which used both television and print media. The campaign was professionally executed, using Creative directors and Advertising firms. This gives an indication of the changing trends in Indian Political scene. The parties are increasingly targeting the youth especially the urban folk.. with focused campaigning.

Now, we can already see efforts of the ruling government what looks like a warm up months before the elections are due. Already full page advertisements give indication of things to come. To get an idea of the seriousness of the issue, the cost for a full page ad in a major newspaper is around Rs.18-20 lakh. Throw in the television campaigns too, and the money spent will be huge. The Presidential campaign during the recent US elections involved, in total, more than a billion dollars. But the issue of concern is, the extent of aping being limited to the bad/negative things. There is a very long list of things which we have ‘selectively’ copied from others, mostly from the West. OK.. let me stick to the point on hand… the Election Commission keeps a tab on the money spent during an election. But it cannot do anything about these campaigns as the Ads in reality are not asking anyone to vote for them.. They are just blowing their trumpets and proclaiming their achievements, embedding them into the minds and letting the viewers and reader do the thinking. The parties in opposition cannot do much, as they have nothing to advertise about in a similar manner. They can only do direct campaigning.. hollering about the misdeeds of the present government and issue promises about what they can and will change. At most, they can dance around in the states they are in currently power. They can advertise about their local achievements and drive home the same point in an indirect manner. Precisely what is happening now. In all this trumpet blowing, the taxpayer’s money is being burnt and no one’s least bit accountable. They openly defend themselves, saying that all they are doing is making the junta aware of the work being carried out by the govt. The result is each department, each ministry coming out with full and half page ads for every inaguration, foundation stone laying.. and effectively reminiscing with ‘Then’ and ‘Now’ type of Ads.

Looks like we need something like the Opensecrets.org.in I hope it will not be long before it materialises.. Looking at the way Citizen activism is becoming effective. Bangaloreans cringe at the thought of rallies, the JD(S) one strangling the city for half a day. The Activism resulted in the High court asking the Police not to give permissions for gatherings of strength >15k people. Hope this is implemented, with the controversial Anti-terrorism campaign’s valedictory function expected to converge 2 lakh students.

With the current CEC seeming like an avatar of the erstwhile legend T.N.S, we were looking forward to the elections being suffocatingly strict.With the Election Commission of India occupied with its own issues, internal blame game and controversies….. We can only hope for the successor’s efficiency.